i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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