It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
