he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Randomize
