Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I didn't notice because vodka
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Randomize
