so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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