I cut my penus on the lid.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
