he thought i was a dude.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Randomize
