i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
