So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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