It's Friday. Sex?
Who wears a wallet chain?!
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Randomize
