If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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