my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
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