did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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