Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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