Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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