you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
no you cant smoke seaweed
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
