WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
