I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
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I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
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I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.