She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.