id be glad to
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Deaf chicks here I come
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.