i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.