If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
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I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
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If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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