I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Randomize
