I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize