another moral hangover. fuck.
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
