please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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