just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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