This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
