a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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