the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
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