We won't sleep together?
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
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when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
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