Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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