I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
