I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Randomize
