In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I did not marry a roomba.
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