So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
How does it feel to date your dad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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