im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Send help, water and tortillas.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
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