I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
