somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
