at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
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