i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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