Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
