I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
How external is "for external use only"?
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
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