She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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