Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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