He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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