pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
My liver just had a heart attack.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
