i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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