never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
