So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
