Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
