i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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