And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Randomize
