I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
