stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
