xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I need a burrito and a hug.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Randomize