I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
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Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
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My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
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