We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
