How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
